As an eager nation awaited his learned opinion, Trump finally weighed in on the Kentucky Derby controversy:
The Kentucky Derby decision was not a good one. It was a rough & tumble race on a wet and sloppy track, actually, a beautiful thing to watch. Only in these days of political correctness could such an overturn occur. The best horse did NOT win the Kentucky Derby – not even close!
– Donald J. Trump, May 5, 2019
I presume Maximum Security will soon be invited to the White House for a McDonald’s feast (okay, maybe a DQ feast) with burgers made entirely from cousins of Country House. Loser. Probably an immigrant.
I was originally going to opine that Trump could maybe find something better to do as, you know, the leader of the free world. Upon reflection, though, I am now convinced that Trump should be encouraged to spend every waking moment tweeting his expert opinions on all of the major issues of our time. Here’s just a few possible starting points that could keep him occupied:
- The Night King was robbed. White walkers were good people. Sad! The AG should investigate Arya now! Cersei reminds me of Ivanka. She screwed her brother and that’s hot!
- The Avengers are socialists. Thanos was right! Dusting half of the population is even better than a wall! He just didn’t dust the right half. Loser. Needed Trump.
- If Aunt Becky gets convicted of a “crime” I’ll pardon her. The whole point of having money is to buy things poor people can’t! My Dad bought my Wharton degree. No big deal.
- Steph Curry is so overrated. I’d have made that dunk. Easy. My dunks are the best. Nobody dunks better than me. Ask anyone.
- Coke or Pepsi? The Trump 2020 campaign is in full swing. Who wants a Medal of Freedom?