I just read a recent opinion piece in the Wall Street Journal written by one Gary Geipel.
Seems Gary was all bent out of shape about the registration process for the Sundance Film Festival currently underway in Utah. He was so irritated that he wrote an associated rant entitled “The Sundance Film Festival Loyalty Oath” and convinced a major newspaper to publish it.
Gary’s beef? Before he could buy a ticket, the festival website required that he affirm an agreement that he deemed “a new form of woke authoritarianism” – supposedly imposing such draconian conditions on participation that he chose not to register at all.
Wow. Loyalty oaths. Authoritarianism. I was intrigued.
And, apparently unlike the editors of the Wall Street Journal, I was intrigued enough to actually browse over to the Sundance site myself.
Turns out that the “Loyalty Oath” is actually a one-page, click-through “Community Agreement” and it’s about as sinister as the intro to Mister Rogers’ Neighborhood. It’s all motherhood, apple pie, and the golden rule – with the golden rule being literally mentioned in the agreement.
It does ask for compliance with the Sundance Institute’s health policies with respect to COVID protocols – which Gary found exceptionally outrageous. Of course, Sundance is an independent 501(c)(3) non-profit charitable organization with every right in the world to define any such policies it wants. This is the first Sundance festival in three years to be held in-person due to COVID and it makes sense for them to be somewhat careful given the multi-national attendees. If they’d so desired, Sundance could have banned all green shirts. Or all people named “Gary”. But instead they just asked people to follow their protocols. My. How rude.
But here’s the real kicker: Gary explicitly only wanted to sign up to watch the festival’s films remotely from Indiana. WTF, Gary. Nothing in the Sundance protocols asked you to wear a mask in your own basement. You were even free to don your Underoos with the matching tin-foil hat.
Gary also explicitly objected to two bullet points in the agreement which asked that participants be:
- Mindful of the boundaries of others by avoiding unwelcome sexual attention, harassment, stalking, and inappropriate physical contact of any kind.
- …
- Conscious of the power you hold by not engaging in abuse or intimidation including that related to race, gender, position, or wealth.
Damn, Gary. What the hell were you planning to write in the films’ comments sections?
And readers, you may well be asking: Just who is Gary, anyway? A quick Google search revealed that he was on the campaign leadership team for Dan Quayle’s 2000 Presidential campaign. Funny how that one fact told me everything that I needed to know.
So, Gary. Here’s the thing.
I’m going to assume that you’re the guy who wants to walk barefoot through the grocery store, take flash photos in the theatre, and fondle your AK-47 outside of Chuck E. Cheese. I am truly devastated that the rigid cultural confines of this world are often anathema to your narcissistic sensibilities.
However, if you could not find it within yourself to temporarily suspend your racist, sexist, homophobic, ableist, bigoted, and incredibly idiotic propensities, I am confident that you made the correct decision to pass on the Sundance Festival this year.
If, as an alternative, you’d like to Build-Your-Own festival, I see that both “A Raisin in the Sun” and “Birth of a Nation” are available to rent on Amazon Prime. While I suspect that you wouldn’t understand the former, I think you’ll particularly enjoy the latter.