An October Surprise?

You know the wheels are off and quickly rolling away from your political cart when you entrust your campaign’s “October Surprise” to Rudy Giuliani.

Let’s recap.

In July of 2019, Trump called the Ukrainian President to pressure him for “a favor” by launching an investigation into Joe Biden – Trump’s then-presumptive 2020 rival.  Of course, that seriously improper conversation prompted impeachment proceedings that produced the politically predictable result.  Still, one would think that Trump would want to move on from that particular narrative.  One would be wrong.

Trump had made the call hoping that an investigation would prove that Biden abused his position as Vice President to push for the ouster of a Ukrainian prosecutor who had investigated Burisma – an energy company on whose board Biden’s son, Hunter, served from 2014 to 2019.  The facts, however, have never supported an allegation of improper influence.

In 2015, Biden did indeed threaten to withhold U.S. aid to Ukraine unless the prosecutor was fired.  That wasn’t a secret.  In fact, the firing had long been publicly sought by numerous officials – from the U.S, the European Union, the International Monetary Fund, and the World Bank – due to corruption charges.  Furthermore, there was no active investigation into Burisma when the prosecutor was finally fired in 2016.

When Trump’s Ukrainian government approach fizzled, a GOP-led Senate committee devoted a ton of U.S. government resources to produce a political hit piece in September that even Republicans thought was over the top.  So, when that report landed like a wet dog, Giuliani gleefully stepped into what the dog left behind.

And here’s where it gets fun.

The New York Post published a story this week based on Giuliani’s “research” claiming that Hunter left his laptop at a repair shop but never came back for it.  You know… as one does.  The repair shop owner frighteningly made a copy of the hard drive which somehow made its way to Giuliani.  Giuliani, in turn, claimed it contained a “smoking gun” email from a Burisma exec who thanked Hunter for the “opportunity to meet your father.”

So.  Let’s ignore the fact that the presumed chain of events with the laptop reads like a cheap espionage novel.  Let’s also ignore the fact that the Post is a tabloid owned by Rupert Murdoch (who also owns Fox News) and that the story’s reporter is a former producer for Sean Hannity.  Let’s further ignore the fact that this soap opera has all the markings of a poorly executed Russian hack.  And let’s finally ignore the fact that Trump’s own intelligence analysts warned him in September that Giuliani was a targeted pawn in a Russian disinformation effort directed at influencing the November elections.

Here’s what the political pundits on all sides are missing:

No one gives a shit.

Most Americans couldn’t find Ukraine on a map even if you spotted them Eastern Europe.  Most Americans are worried about their own jobs and not the job of some obscure prosecutor from Kiev.  Most Americans aren’t focused on catching Hunter Biden for something that happened years ago; they’re focused on not catching COVID-19 now.  Most Americans think Rudy Giuliani is the punchline of a bad joke.  Hell, even his daughter is voting for Biden.

So why was Hunter given a position on the Burisma board in the first place?  The answer, of course, is that his Dad was the Vice President of the United States.  Duh.  So what?  If anyone thinks that many board members of most major companies don’t have their positions because of their names and/or their contacts, they don’t understand how corporate boards work.  Even if Hunter did introduce his father to a Burisma exec (which is itself questionable), an introduction is far from evidence of anything improper.

Look.  I’m not complaining.  But if this is the best the GOP can do, I’m a bit embarrassed for them.  And I’m even more embarrassed for the Russians.